Talk loudly please....

Friday night and the series of Awkward conversations:

Convo 1:

Kid: So I drove 3 hours to see you guys play.

Me: Really?

Kid: yeah you guys never play around us so we drove down here to see you guys.

Me: Oh sorry....Maybe soon we can be up there closer.

Kid: Sure....

30 second silent pause.

Me: Ok well I am going to go check on our merch guy and see what he is up to.

Convo 2:

Kid: So I got saved Tonight after your guys set.

Keep in mind at this point I just had walked off stage and had one million thoughts in my head....

Me: Thanks!

Kid: No problem man.

Me: How is that going for you so far?

Kid: Really positive

Me: awesome man. 

20 seconds awkward pause where I draw a complete blank on anything to say as I relive what I had just said to this kid in my head

Me: Well man I am going to go check on our Merch guy and see what he is up to

Convo 3:

Kid: Hi I saw you on stage

Me: yeah that was me

Kid: You can jump high

Me: Well I was on the stage so I probably wasn't jumping as high as I looked

Kid: Oh yeah its like 4 foot up in the air.

Me: yeah It is

10 seconds later 

Kid: I am going to go check and see what merch you guys have

The moral of this story is that the best way to get out of awkward silences is to say you are going to go check on the merch situation.

You would think a person who is pretty much paid for speaking and interacting with people that I would be able to communicate properly but evidently there are times when I fail to be able to speak

Do you have moments when you can't seem to get out what you are wanting to say?

Road less....

The Road Not Taken

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

 end.

 

Not my words but how I am currently feeling. 

I hope that I am picking the right roads to walk.

Show me the way.

Improvements.

I think a lot about Improvements...

It seems our lives are centered around the idea of bigger and better.

The idea of the grass being greener on the other side

I recently talked to a friend who says he gets depressed at the New Years because he looks at his life and realizes he didn't accomplish all that he wanted to that year.

I can relate to that thinking.

I have 2 parts of this blogging that I want to explore.

1.

When we deal with improvements in life...

how do we honestly know it is a improvement?

I am reminded of the thinking that we don't know what is best for us.

I think that 100 million dollars would be best for me.

is it?

There are always general improvements.

Like physically we can get in better shape or even treat people better.

I don't think either of those things could be bad.

but.

Why do I want a 80gb Ipod with a Cover Flow and Genius Capabilities.

When I have a 80gb Ipod that doesn't have them...

People in Haiti are dying...

just some ramblings.

2.

I wonder if there are different types of people

One type that wants to be better and the other that could care less.

it seems from a young age I have always wanted to be better.

Sometimes it is exhausting.

I wish I could just be content and chill at times and just enjoy life in the moment.

yet something continually makes me think of how I could improve on it.

it = life

it seems I run into people that are able to continually take this second mindset.

I am not saying it is the correct mindset

I have seen several people drift off in life into a black abyss of there own making.

Is there some form of middle ground that you can find that makes it where you can enjoy life yet still slowly move towards something better without a non-stop race mindset?

I hope eventually I can find it.

Finally.

I have never been content with my Christian walk.

I am not sure how I feel about this.

I have had people tell me you need to live your life and allow God to move through it in time.

or

To just relax and go with the flow.

but

if i am not living to better my walk with Christ.

What should I be living for?

more ramblings.

Church...

I had a good friend write a blog about church and it stirred up some feelings inside of me that have been repressed and now are coming forth. As it is my blog. Might as well write about it.

I am sitting getting ready for a Wednesday Night Youth Gathering.

Most people call it Youth Group.

I wonder about all of those who have been in my ministry in the past and recognize it is a wednesday night.

They know where I will be and what I will be doing.

They remember the times they came down to the altar at Youth Group.

When God met them so strong and they were able to cry and pray and feel like God cares about them each.

In fact they had there lives changed

they were able to see things in a different light

and to be able to make right decisions and they knew people cared about them.

Then they graduated High School.

and they stopped caring or coming.

No longer did it matter that there former friends and Youth Group members were desperate for

someone to care about them.

No longer did it matter that the wisdom and stuff they learned needed to be passed down to people going through similar situations. That there insight was needed to keep the expressions of Faith (The way services go or are planned) new and fresh.

It was boring to them. They knew what was going to happen or they were older or had more important things to do than to spend a hour downstairs in a basement with stupid teens.

and so they left.

Most will start to fall away from God. They think it is maybe because God wasn't real.

They stop coming on a Sunday morning because it feel irrelevant or doesn't apply to there lives.

God just doesn't move the same or there knowledge is so strong in who God supposedly is that its boring.

They get older and come to church every once in a while. They wonder why it can't be cooler or fit into a cultural context that is appealing to them. Why the music is old people music? Why doesn't the church keep up with the times and it is old and out-dated.?

A long time ago (7-8 years), I Spoke to Rob Bell about my frustrations with the church.

I complained about all of these things that I see so many people in my generation saying.

He said " Be the change, you want to see"

If you want church to be different.

If you want the world to be different

If you want to have a better life

If you want something more.

Then start doing something about it.

Be what you want to see.

Stop living for yourself and do something for someone else.

Church is more than your needs.

I promise you until I began caring about my brother christian I never truly understood.

Until I sat and cried with a 70 year old man who talked about overcoming his addictions. I never understood.

I wish that those who grew up in my ministry came back and tried to recapture

What I call the body of God

or

Church.

Refreshing....

So I just purchased the new "The Whitest boy alive" Album. It is such an amazing album if you have not ever listened or heard of these guys. All I can honestly say is wow. Check them out. Very happy music.

So I was thinking earlier about.

What if I could know everything that was going to happen to myself this year?

Think about it for a few moments...........

What if you knew someone close to you was going to die?

What if you knew the winning lottery numbers or even the winning baseball team or basketball?

I wonder how this year is going to go.

A year seems like such a long time and so much can happen in a year.

I could be in a signed band on a major music label.

I could be at a different church.

I could be living on the streets with nothing to my name.

Nuclear war could happen.

Zombies could become real.

Aliens could appear.

Ok some of that might not happen but I think about the big changes that have happened in my life and I realize that I was completely unprepared for them to happen and they almost sneaked up on me and happened.

It is interesting to me.

I have also come to the conclusion that no one reads this besides myself or could care less which is cool.

I will continue to write to put my thoughts down.

I hope my relationship with God is better than it is now. Not that it is necessarily bad but better is simply.

better.

uggghhh...

Man I am in a bad mood right now.

Even 80's music isn't picking up my attitude. I think it is the winter weather. not even close to enough sun during the day.

Today was day 2 on the quest to large-ness. Body Building sounds a lot funner than it actually is.

Continual Hard Work.

Not sure what to write to equate my bad mood. I guess I will expand upon a previous thought that we are such a spoiled rotten group of people. I have a warm house, a computer, a wonderful family and my health.

Yet I sit and complain about being in a bad mood.

People have different ideas about how life can be summed up.

Some say its by how many lives you have changed

Some say its by the things you accumulate through-out life

Some say it has to deal with all of the things you did or experienced.

Some say...

Some say...

Some say..

I imagine that life is summed up by everything but honestly I don't know if when the end of life comes if I will really be that concerned about what I did on Tuesday Jan. 5th 2010

Which is why I believe I am in a bad mood.

Peace.